You hidden in my heart - Chapter 4

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Chapter 4
Luckily, neither Lu Yuling nor Li Xining were injured. The van driver apologised and took the invitation to pay for the bicycles, so the two did not embarrass the van driver. After the two parties negotiated, they went their separate ways and left.
As there were no signal lights at the intersection, Li Xining should have paid more attention, so she didn’t intend to put the whole blame on the van driver. This time she was too anxious to go home and didn’t look carefully. Thanks to Lu Yuling, nothing serious happened.
Unfortunately, Li Xining’s bicycle was damaged; the entire rear wheel was crushed and deformed. It was a horrible sight.
If it wasn’t for Lu Yuling, who saved her, it wouldn’t be her bicycle that was lying on the ground in a terrible state, but her.
Despite the fact that everything was safe at this point, Li Xining expressed her gratitude to Lu Yuling from the bottom of her heart after passing the gate of hell. He was in danger of dying at that moment because the van’s wheels almost ran over his head. He risked his life to save her.
She was grateful to him, but she felt so bad. Earlier, she thought Lu Yuling was a fool who had no idea what to do, and she didn’t even want to talk to him, but he risked his life to save her when it was a matter of life or death.
Once the van driver had departed, Li Xining once again thanked Lu Yuling.
Every time Li Xining thanked Lu Yuling, she always looked into his eyes to express her gratitude sincerely, making Lu Yuling a bit uneasy.
“It’s okay.” He always answered so concisely, but this time he simply changed the subject, saying, “I’ll take you home.”
In fact, he had been sending her home every night for the past two years by pretending that it was on the way to his house. However, Li Xining didn’t know that his house was on the west side of the school while hers was on the east side.
“No, it’s ok. You go first. My house is just ahead. It’s just a few steps.” She refused his help.
As Li Xining’s bicycle was damaged, the van driver took it to the nearby repair shop.
After finally being able to send her back home in a fair manner, Lu Yuling definitely couldn’t give up on this great opportunity and said without changing his face, “Let’s go, my house is along the way.”
Li Xining couldn’t continue to evade, so she nodded.
Li Xining was standing with red cheeks under a dim street lamp. She had the impression that Lu Yuling was a warm stove. She was hesitant to approach him, even though she wanted to feel his warmth. Therefore, she had never felt anything like this before, and it was quite strange.
She also felt that the night seemed much quieter than before, and the stars in the sky were as bright as diamonds.
Her mother purchased a three-bedroom home close to No. 1 Middle School to make it easier for her to get to school. The distance between the community and the school, which was only three junctions away, was less than 10 minutes by bicycle. By foot, it would take nearly twenty minutes.
Lu Yuling pushed his bicycle to the left of Li Xining, protecting her on the side of the road.
Because of the sensitive situation, neither of them talked at first because they were both at a loss for words. Lu Yuling finally found the guts to speak after a short while.
“Are you still upset, um?” While he was speaking, he reflected on what had happened during his self-study this evening.
Only then did Li Xining realise that Lu Yuling’s mood was still lively while she was still frightened.
Li Xining responded, “Why should I be angry?” with a gentle sigh.
Lu Yuling genuinely said, “Because I didn’t do my homework…”
Li Xining: ” … …” ‘I really can’t see that you are still an honest little princess; in this case, let’s settle the score.’ “Why don’t you do your homework?” Li Xining stared at him and asked.
Lu Yuling didn’t know how to respond to this inquiry. ‘Feeling down? unwilling? It seemed that there was no suitable response.’
After a brief period of hesitation, Li Xining finally asked the question that had been on her mind for a number of years: “Why did you become like this?”
The shy youngster in her memory shouldn’t have developed into who he was today. Back then, the young boy was silent and lonely, but he was motivated. He worked hard to get the highest grade possible on each exam.
–Flashback
When Li Xining was in the first grade of junior high school, she went back to class one day during the lunch break. The class was quiet, the blue curtains were drawn, and the classroom was as blue as an ocean.
Some students who didn’t go home at noon were taking naps on their desks. Lu Yuling was also one of the students who didn’t go home, he didn’t go to sleep but was sorting gifts.
Li Xining’s seat was not far from him. At that time, she quietly saw Lu Yuling putting a certificate of the award into an exquisite gift box. That certificate was obtained from his monthly exam, and he was the first in his grade in this monthly exam. – –
This memory was still fresh in Li Xining’s memory, so she didn’t understand how the boy who carefully packed the certificates became the rebellious one who didn’t obey anyone now.
Lu Yuling knew what Li Xining was asking, but he was still silent, not because he didn’t know the answer or because he didn’t know his own depravity, but because he didn’t want to say the answer.
He had never met his father, and he didn’t even know his father’s name. The surname Lu was still his mother’s surname.
Many people said that he was a b*stard born to his mother and a wild man. Even his grandparents were unwilling to recognise him as their grandson.
His mother had come from a good family background in the upper-class circle of Xifu. As his grandparents were very traditional in their thinking, they were ashamed that their daughter was pregnant out of wedlock. So the only person who was willing to help the poor mother and son was his mother’s elder brother, his uncle. Unfortunately, when Lu Yuling was in sixth grade, his mother was diagnosed with a serious illness.
At that time, he was still young and didn’t know the meaning of “terminal illness.” He always hoped that his mother would be cured one day.
His uncle often told him, “You have to be obedient, don’t make your mother angry, study hard, bring more awards home, and make your mother happy. Once your mother is happy, she will be fine.” He firmly believed in his uncle’s words, so he fought hard. He studied hard just to get first place in every exam, get a certificate, and give it to his mother when he goes back to make her happy.
But it turned out that his uncle was lying to him. No matter how hard he studied and was obedient, in the end, his mother passed away.
The bad news came from the hospital when he got first place in the entire grade.
He felt that the entire world had collapsed. And that was the day Li Xining saw Lu Yuling crying in the stairwell.
He didn’t dare go to the hospital because he didn’t know how to face his mother’s death, and he was even more afraid that the adults would force him to see his mother’s cold body.
But he had no other place to go, so he went to the familiar school, hid in a remote stairwell, and wept hard.
He didn’t expect that there would be classmates in the school because it was a holiday, and he didn’t expect that the girl would accompany him all the time and that she would accompany him quietly.
Appropriate comfort was to accompany someone without words, just in silence.
At that time, he was completely in a state of despair and helplessness; his mind was in chaos as if he were going through a disaster, so he didn’t recognise this girl as his classmate at all.
When he was tired of crying, his tears dried up, and he couldn’t cry anymore, so the girl gave him candy.
He didn’t take it.
Later, the girl left him the whole bag of candy, then got up and left. Before she left, she said “goodbye” to him, but he didn’t respond to her either.
Because the two words meant separation, he hated them.
“Separation” took away his most beloved mother.
After the girl left, he picked up the bag of candies at his feet, took out a candy from inside, peeled off the wrapping paper, and ate one.
It was sweet, and instantly melted away the bitterness in his mouth.
But he still didn’t leave the stairwell, because he still didn’t have the courage to face his mother’s death, but in the end, his uncle found him, forcibly dragged him out of the stairwell, and took him to the hospital without any explanation, or, to be more specific, took him to the hospital mortuary.
Because he was the only child of his mother, he must keep vigil for her.
This was the funniest and most terrifying thing.
He couldn’t accept his mother’s death, but he had to appear at her funeral.
Lu Yuling was not offended by his uncle because of the rule, which his ancestors established hundreds of years ago. Additionally, because his uncle also wanted to send his sister off peacefully, the role of the son at the funeral was crucial.
It was the first time in his life that he spent the Chinese New Year with his grandparents.
People felt sorry when a child lost his mother, and his grandparents’ treatment of him was much better.
But he was still puzzled as to why they neglected to treat their mother kindly while she was still living and instead waited until after her passing to return the favour to her son.
The spring festival that year was the most gloomy time in his memory. His mother’s departure took away too much brilliance from his life and also took away his expectations—he used to look forward to his mother’s recovery every day. He studied hard for his mother. He behaved well for his mother. So when his mother left suddenly, Lu Yuling lost his goals as well.
[TL Notes: Chinese New Year, also known as the Spring Festival or Lunar New Year, is the grandest festival in China, with a 7-day long holiday.]
He didn’t know what his efforts were for.
During the winter vacation that year, he also had a miserable life, and he was in a daze all day long. The only meaningful moment in his life was eating candy. The bag of candy that Li Xining gave him.
Throughout the winter vacation, the only thing he was looking forward to was the start of school and meeting that girl. But after school started, he found out that she had changed schools.
His little hope was also gone, and his life was completely lost.
Adolescent children have unstable personalities. Once there was a major turning point in life and a lack of correct guidance, they would become rebellious. That was when he became rebellious.
As he had no mother or father, he didn’t want to study or be good. So he started to live in chaos, started skipping school, started fighting and drinking, became messier and messier, and finally became an ignorant person.
Because his uncle paid a high price, he could enter the Xifu No. 1 Middle School to do his studies in the high school, where he met Li Xining again after a long time.
On the first day of his freshman year of high school, he immediately recognised the girl who gave him sweets. Although he acted calmly, he was already happy, like winning the lottery.
For so many years, he had never forgotten her, let alone thought of seeing her again.
She was the only ray of light on his muddled growth path.
However, it seemed she didn’t remember him very much and even avoided him deliberately.
It was only later that he realised that it wasn’t that she didn’t remember him, but that she deliberately pretended not to know him and didn’t want to have too much contact with him.
As he understood it, it was because she hated the current version of him. So he had no choice but to hide this beam of light in his heart and guard it silently.
Li Xining didn’t know why Lu Yuling was silent suddenly, and his expression became a bit serious as if she had asked something that shouldn’t be asked, which aroused some bad memories in him. So she didn’t continue to ask anymore.
When they were about to reach the intersection near her house, Li Xining saw her mother, and her mother also saw her. Across the intersection, the mother and daughter waved at each other.
Li Xining’s mother was a beautiful woman with delicate features.
As the green light was on at that time, Lu Yuling hurriedly said to Li Xining, “Cross the road quickly.”
As it was time to say goodbye, Li Xining felt a little reluctant, which she had never felt before. She looked into Lu Yuling’s eyes and said to him with seriousness and concern, “Be careful on the way home.”
‘Is this caring about me?’ Lu Yuling suddenly felt nervous and clenched the hand holding the handlebar, pretending to reply calmly. “Ok.”
Li Xining: “See you tomorrow.”
Lu Yuling: “See you tomorrow.”
Seeing his dumbfounded appearance, Li Xining couldn’t help laughing, then turned around and ran towards her mother. As soon as she ran to her mother, the green light turned red. She turned around and saw Lu Yuling already riding his bicycle in the opposite direction.
‘Why did he turn to the other side? Isn’t his home on the way?’ Just as Li Xining was thinking, her mother’s voice came near her right ear. “Boyfriend?”
Li Xining: “?”
Yu Wenyin rolled her eyes, looked her daughter up and down, and finally sighed. “Oh, you are useless except for studying; I don’t think even such a handsome young man likes you.”
Li Xining: “Ms. Yu Wenyin, if you continue to talk to your daughter in such a casual manner, I will tell my grandparents!”
Yu Wenyin: “You still want to sue me? I also want to sue you for puppy love!”
[T/L: Puppy love, also referred to as a crush, is a common phrase for feelings of romantic love, which are frequently experienced in early adolescence and childhood.]
Li Xining: “I don’t have it!”
Yu Wenyin: “You want to have it, but people look down on you.”
Li Xining: ‘I guess you picked me up from the trash can, right?’’
End of chapter 4
Have a nice day!