You hidden in my heart - Chapter 61.2

Chapter 61.2

On their way back to the dorm, Lu Yuling told her, “I’ll shower first and then come get you.”

Li Xining looked confused and asked, “Where are we going?”

She started to zone out again. She had been doing this for a while now, lost in her own thoughts and shutting him out.

Lu Yuling frowned a bit and replied, “Home.”

Then she remembered it was Friday, but she didn’t show much reaction and stayed quiet. After a moment, she quietly said, “I want to go home today.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go back with him; she was just scared of being vulnerable because she couldn’t manage her emotions during that time.

He would bring her to the peak of her feelings, and in that moment, her rationality felt as fragile as tissue paper. After that, she would always end up crying, and it would go on for a long time, completely out of her control.

He always asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t have the courage to tell him the truth, and she always cried and told him “It’s okay”.

But he obviously didn’t believe her, and he would continue asking next time.

But she was at the peak of her limits, and she would spill the beans if he asked again today. She couldn’t hold on any longer.

Lu Yuling knew which “home” Li Xining was referring to, but he certainly couldn’t let her go easily. He had to know what she was hiding from him that day.

“Come home with me first, I will take you back after dinner,” he said after thinking for a while.

Li Xining didn’t respond.

“Can you have dinner with me?” After being silent for a few seconds, Lu Yuling asked again.

Lu Yuling’s pleading voice softened the girl’s heart and she decided to agree with him.

The two of them didn’t say a word until Lu Yuling drove the car into the gate of the community.

“Aren’t you going to buy vegetables?”

“There are vegetables,” Lu Yuling responded.

With that response, Li Xining was taken aback. ‘He hadn’t been home for a week, so where did the vegetables come from? Unless he came back early last night to buy them.

But he didn’t come yesterday either. So how did he have the time to buy groceries?’

It was not until they got home that she understood what he meant by “there are vegetables”.

She was the vegetable.

He dragged her into the bedroom without even giving her a chance to change into her slippers.

It was already night, the curtains were not drawn, and the room was dark.

She struggled and resisted while scolding him, “Lu Yuling!”

But his attitude today was particularly tough. Without saying a word, he grabbed her wrists with one hand and lifted her hands above her head.

She lost her resistance and succumbed after a while.

In the end, she started crying again, or rather, she started crying soon after and continued crying until the end.

When he turned on the desk lamp, her eyes were swollen from crying.

“What’s wrong with you?” Lu Yuling was distressed and anxious. “Can you tell me? I beg you! Please…”

Li Xining was still in tears, but this time she didn’t say “It’s okay”. Instead, she held him tightly, buried her face in his chest, and cried so intensely that her whole body shook.

Lu Yuling felt a wave of distress wash over him, so he gently patted her back and anxiously reassured her. “Don’t cry, don’t cry, I’m here, I’ll always be here. I promise to stay with you.”

As soon as he said that, Li Xining’s sobs turned into loud cries. 

This time, Lu Yuling was at a loss, not knowing what he had said wrong. He felt a surge of anxiety as he struggled to figure out how to help. 

Then, out of the blue, Li Xining cried out. “Teacher Zhou asked me if I wanted to study abroad.”

Upon hearing such an unexpected thing, Lu Yuling was taken aback. Honestly, he was a bit confused at that moment and didn’t quite grasp what Li Xining meant by that. He always imagined they would be together forever, graduate from college, get married, and have a child in two years, creating a perfect life together.

The thought of either of them going abroad had never crossed his mind.

But he quickly calmed down and asked Li Xining earnestly, “Do you want to go abroad?”

Li Xining cried aloud.  “I don’t know.”

Lu Yuling understood the deeper meaning of her “I don’t know”. It’s not that she didn’t know whether she wanted to study abroad or not, but that she wanted to study but didn’t know how to tell him.

After a moment of silence, he replied in a gentle but firm tone. “Go if you want to. I support you.”

He knew she had her own life apart from being his girlfriend. So, he wouldn’t be hesitant to support her. Definitely, he would support her all his life.

What Li Xining feared most was that Lu Yuling would say to him personally, “I support you.” This made her feel like a traitor, and she felt more and more guilty. She sobbed, “I never thought about going abroad. I wanted to be with you forever. I haven’t seen your debut yet, and I haven’t attended your concert yet. I’m afraid you don’t like me anymore.”

Those words poured out the inner feeling she had hidden in her heart.

　Lu Yuling felt distressed and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “How could I not like you?”

“Because I can’t always be with you. By then, there will definitely be other girls chasing you.”

Lu Yuling wiped her tears and replied, “Do I have to like them if others pursue me? During the years when you went to Dongfu School, there were many girls pursuing me. There was even a girl who came to my doorstep every day to bring me food. Do you think I was moved?”

Li Xining stared at him with red eyes. “Did you let her into the house? If she came in, I would leave now!”

Lu Yuling said firmly, “I didn’t! I didn’t even open the door for her!”

“Hateful!”

Lu Yuling hadn’t heard her say the word “hate” for a long time, so he quickly asked, “Who do you hate?”

Li Xining said angrily, “I hate everyone! I hate you the most! I’m so fed up with you!” After speaking out what was on her mind, her psychological burden became much lighter. She no longer had to suppress her emotions, and she was no longer as cautious as before.

She became “unruly” again.

Lu Yuling liked her being “unruly” with him. “You’re annoying me to death, and you’re afraid that I like someone else?”

Li Xining was speechless and muttered quietly, “Anyway, you are just annoying.”

Lu Yuling breathed a sigh of relief, gently stroked her back, and coaxed her softly. “Well, I am the most annoying person in the world.”

Li Xining: “You are.”

“Do not worry. I will never develop feelings for anyone else. In this lifetime, my love is solely for you.”

Li Xining remained silent for a brief moment before suddenly saying, “It will take four years.”

The programme was conducted for four years and she couldn’t think of a long-distance relationship for such a long period. Moreover, she feared that they might not be able to endure.

Lu Yuling responded in a casual tone, “Only four years? I thought you would be there for five, six, seven, or even eight years.”

Li Xining knew that he was attempting to comfort her.  “I believe four years is indeed a long time,” she muttered looking into his eyes.

Lu Yuling then asked seriously, “Li Xining… are you aware of how many years I have waited for you?”

Li Xining was momentarily taken aback by such words.  “Two and a half years?”

She had only studied in Dongfu for that duration.

Lu Yuling clarified, “Excluding my senior year, it has been four and a half years; including that year, it totals five and a half years.”

“You can’t look at it that way. We were in the same class back in high school, and we never really parted ways,” Li Xining replied with an annoying look.

Lu Yuling let out a sigh, before replying,  “Sure, we were in the same class. But honestly, how many times did you actually talk to me before our third year?”

Li Xining felt a bit awkward, hearing that. “I must have said quite a bit, right?”

Lu Yuling replied, “Yeah, a lot. Most of the time, you either asked me to clean the windows or to cut my hair. That was it.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Li Xining argued, “I asked you to do your homework every day, did you ever do it? Not once!” Finally, she couldn’t help but add, “You’re such a pain in the ass!”

Lu Yuling chuckled and said, “Besides those three things, you never came to me for anything else. Back then, I wasn’t even on your radar, and you were too busy thinking about your high school crush. So tell me, does it really matter that we were in the same class? I’ve made it through four and a half years, are you still worried I can’t handle the next four?”

‘Oh, it made sense.’ Li Xining responded, “The situation has changed now.”

Lu Yuling asked, “How is it different?”

Li Xining said, “I didn’t like you back then.”

The underlying message was: I didn’t care about you then, and it didn’t matter who you liked. But now that I do care about you, you can’t like anyone else.

Lu Yuling stared at the person in his arms and gritted his teeth. “Li Xining, for someone like you, it’s not your turn to worry about me, I’m the one who’s worried about you!”

Li Xining stared at him with disbelief. “What do I like?”

Lu Yuling: “Heartless!”

“You are heartless!” Li Xining said indignantly, “Anyway, you can’t like others!”

Lu Yuling wrapped her arms around her and reassured her once more. “Don’t worry, I’ll only love you in this lifetime.” He then added. “It doesn’t matter where you choose to study abroad, just go if that’s what you want. I will definitely find you, even if you head to outer space for your studies, I’ll take a rocket to track you down!”

Li Xining found his words amusing. After a moment, she responded, “I want to go to England, to the London College of Fashion. Teacher Zhou graduated from there and can write me a recommendation letter.”

Lu Yuling encouraged her. “Isn’t that amazing? Others would kill for this chance, so don’t throw it away. Go for it! And don’t hold back for me. I’ll always be by your side. We have a lifetime ahead of us, so these four years won’t change anything.”

Li Xining felt her eyes welling up again. She looked at Lu Yuling with tears. “Why are you so good to me?”

Lu Yuling replied firmly, “Because you’re my wife.”

Li Xining sniffed. “But I’m not your wife yet.”

Lu Yuling: “You will be my wife, sooner or later.”

Li Xining felt touched and on the verge of tears. Her heart was filled with warmth, but at the same time, she felt a deep sense of regret and annoyance for not having shared the news with him sooner.

She should have listened to Teacher Zhou and told Lu Yuling earlier.

‘Teacher Zhou was right; he helped me to make the decision. If I had said this to him earlier, I wouldn’t have been in trouble.’

She wrapped her arms around his neck and asked softly, “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” He had already eaten before the afternoon training, so he was okay for now. “Are you hungry?”

Even though he said that he still reached under the pillow and pulled out a c*ndom.

Li Xining was actually a bit hungry, but since she was taking the lead this time, she couldn’t back down, so she said, “Not hungry.” 

“Hm…”

Seeing he was wearing it, she suddenly got nervous and asked, “Did you put that under the pillow just now?”

Lu Yuling quickly responded, “I did!”

“I didn’t notice it earlier.” She had been a bit out of control and really didn’t catch it. Then she warned him. “Anyway, if you ever forget to wear it, I will break up with you.”

He always wore it and would never forget it, no matter how urgent things got, but she felt the need to remind him because it was a serious matter.

Lu Yuling reassured her, “Don’t worry, I don’t want to be a dad just yet.”

Li Xining felt relieved and asked curiously, “When do you want to be a dad?”

Lu Yuling replied, “It depends on when you want to be a mom.”

Li Xining hugged him tightly, saying, “We have to wait until we’re married.”

Lu Yuling said, “Once we’re married, we can have a baby whenever you want.” He was about to say more, but she suddenly pressed her knees against him and glared, “There’s one more thing!”

Lu Yuling was about to lose it. “What’s now?”

Li Xining said, “Next time you play basketball, make sure to wear short sleeves under your uniform!”

Lu Yuling replied, “But it’s so hot!”

“I don’t care, and you have to wear it anyway,” Li Xining insisted. “And also, no lifting your shirt to wipe your sweat from now on.”

Lu Yuling was confused: “Why not?”

“Everyone saw you lift your shirt today!” 

Lu Yuling finally got it. He felt a mix of helplessness and amusement, and promised, “Alright, I’ll be careful in the future and won’t let anyone else see it. Only you can.”

“That’s better,” Li Xining said.

Have a nice day!